-
The Bearded Iris: I might have to change grocery stores after this. →
A fun little blog post pointed out to me by an online friend.
Read the i-am-the-center-of-the-universe parenting syndrome.
I might have to change grocery stores after this.
[…]
“Is it okay if I give him some money?”
[…]
“Sure, Francis. That’s awfully sweet of you.”
[…]
Wait! That’s not a duckie! That’s a sticker of a duckie. A fifty cent ducky sticker. A MOTHER FUCKING DUCKY STICKER.
Uh oh.
Instinctively, my body tensed up. I knew what was coming next. It would be loud, and embarrassing. My ears don’t like noises like that. Especially in public.
The tears. The wailing. The gnashing of teeth. It would be a doozy.[…]
Francis, fully accepting her role in Bucket Head’s meltdown, quickly reached into her apron and pulled out two more quarters. “It’s okay honey. Let’s try again!”
[…]
“Maybe Miss Francis will have better luck…” She inserted the quarters. Turned the crank. We all held our breath, and BOOM…
Another. Motherfucking. Sticker.[…]
Thanks, Francis, you dirty whore.
[…]
I swooped him up and carried him toward the door, motioning with my head to the bag boy to grab the cart and follow me out to the car.
On the way past the customer service desk, still holding my wailing child, I hissed at the manager “Nice job on the gum ball machines. Really helps to end my shopping trip on a good note.” (Asshole.)
[…]
Addendum: due to popular request, I’ve set up a way for all the well-meaning grannies in the hizzy to just go ahead and give Bucket Head some money. Whether or not I spend it on gum ball machines is none of your business.
My head could explode.
-
True story.
(via brakes)
-
But when a saga popular with pre-adolescent girls peaks romantically on a night that leaves the heroine to wake up covered with bruises in the shape of her husband’s hands — and when that heroine then spends the morning explaining to her husband that she’s incredibly happy even though he injured her, and that it’s not his fault because she understands he couldn’t help it in light of the depth of his passion — that’s profoundly irresponsible.
– Linda Holmes, “‘Dawn’ Breaks, And Much Baroque Nonsense Ensues” (via amberying)(via amberying)
6 months ago / 17,915 notes / Source:
-
I KNEW THIS HAD TO EXIST. Thank you おきつぐ
(via sakuramikage)
-
What I did yesterday instead of continuing the unproductivity which has been the trend the last few weeks.
Pictures really don’t do it justice.
Do want!
-
-
-
![thedailywhat:
Upgraded Childhood of the Day: While we patiently await the commercial availability of the device that turns drawings into toys, Child’s Own Studio has taken matters into its own hands — literally — designing stuffed animals from crudely-drawn illustrations sent in by children.
Cost depends on how labor-intensive the doll is, and is provided on a case by case basis. Each toy takes approximately 2-to-4 weeks to produce, but can be rushed if you absolutely must have it yesterday.
A sudden surge in traffic has the company’s site down for the count, but, mercifully, their Flickr photostream is still online.
There is one important thing the Child’s Own Studio FAQ page neglected to answer: What does Maddox think about all this?
[redferret.]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltl4dnCWSE1qzpwi0o1_500.jpg)
Upgraded Childhood of the Day: While we patiently await the commercial availability of the device that turns drawings into toys, Child’s Own Studio has taken matters into its own hands — literally — designing stuffed animals from crudely-drawn illustrations sent in by children.
Cost depends on how labor-intensive the doll is, and is provided on a case by case basis. Each toy takes approximately 2-to-4 weeks to produce, but can be rushed if you absolutely must have it yesterday.
A sudden surge in traffic has the company’s site down for the count, but, mercifully, their Flickr photostream is still online.
There is one important thing the Child’s Own Studio FAQ page neglected to answer: What does Maddox think about all this?
[redferret.]
(via stopongreen)
